I Don’t Have Moves Like Jagger, and Fuck Anyone Besides Mick Jagger That Does…
Many years ago my old boss sat me down and told me, “Karl, unlike a lot of the other employees you have the potential to succeed, but for some reason you choose not to”
Fuck this guy, I have succeeded… to me success is using up all of my sick days to do fun shit like eat Thai food with my daughters, sitting on the patio reading, convincing Bethany to join me in a work ditch day, & getting an early start on tonight’s drinking binge.
My Supervisor Got Dumped… Like I Give A Fuck
Many years ago my supervisor (at the casino we no longer speak of) asked me, “Can you believe it, my girl left me for some guy in Wisconsin that she met on World Of War Craft?”
I could believe it, this guy was a vile human being, a sexist prick, a homophobic asshole, & pompous fuck. The shit he did behind his lady friend’s back would make me believe he would be relieved…
I asked him, “What happened?”
He first asked me if I knew what World Of War Craft was, I told him “yeah, that’s what the asshole security guard in my neighborhood is always talking about”
My supervisor then made an asshole comment about one our coworkers Adam playing the game.
I let off a laugh and said, “That would be fucking awesome if it was Adam”
My boss gave me a dirty look, he didn’t find my dumb comment funny.
I found it strange that this guy was sad, he was always sharing stories with me about getting his dick wet with woman he met on hook-up lines & fuck sights. Now he has more time to philander & do whatever gross shit his pimply dick desires.
Q - How much do you have to drink to buy a copy of Pick Your King on vinyl?
A - 12 beers + 6 shots of whiskey
I’d probably pity racist people if they were’t such assholes
Not Thankful! …Fuck Thanksgiving!
This is an old one I did, but since Thanksgiving is coming up I thought I would post a drawing of me with one of those Baskin Robbins ice cream cakes that look like a turkey… remember, before you eat a cock this Thanksgiving, a lot of us vegetarians are more than willing to put our cocks in your mouth if it means sparing a turkey. I’ll even wipe my broke ass dick down with an Axe Body wipe so it won’t stank!
As for me, one of the hardest things about being a dad is going through my wardrobe and finding a T-shirt for school functions that don’t feature the word “fuck”. Sure, I have other shirts that don’t read “fuck”, but those are shirts for such great bands as “Asshole Parade”, “Vaginasaur Jr”, “Anal Cunt”, “Asspiss”, & “Hello Shitty People”
Being pregnant can be tough, relax have a beer and a smoke, you’ve earned it!
a few years ago I went through a point in life where I was frustrated with my job, the people in my band, the world, my family, myself, & probably you if I knew you… nah, you are alright with me! Anyway, I lashed out at the world by creating a fanzine that encouraged people to do bad things…
If I have to choose between a matador and a bull…
…I don’t give a fuck about a dead torero!
If you need a cock in your mouth… Make it a penis!
The first time I had sexual relations with a woman I couldn’t locate her vagina… the first time I made out with someone was also the first time I touched a sex part! Damn, that was a long time ago…
I pitty the fool who doesn’t find the vagina
Green Light Touching, Go!
- Karl Bakla